The family has always been put under the idea that it is a refuge that you can always count on, however, not all people are lucky enough to have a loving and understanding nucleus.
Since we were children we have been taught to live with those who have our same blood. We are told that we must always respect our uncles, grandparents, cousins and parents because being family, they are the ones who know us best and that they will do everything for our well-being. What happens when this is not the case?
A family is toxic when within the dynamics of its members there are patterns of abuse, discrimination, conflict, emotional distancing, verbal violence and manipulation.
We all have someone in our family with these characteristics. People who only think of themselves, who manipulate us, who play with our emotions. Although talking about it is complicated, experts say that having toxic relatives in our personal circle can seriously affect our quality of life.
Cutting ties with toxic family members: an act of self-love.
As we grow up, we realize that not everything is pink in the family and that having the same blood does not guarantee a healthy coexistence nor is it a genuine concern or love for the other.
The reality is that many times within our own family there are the people who do us the most harm and you don’t have to normalize it.
You do not have to allow your family to break with your emotional stability or to damage your integrity or to pretend to run your life.
It is very valid to want to get away and break ties with whoever hurts you. Whoever belongs to your family doesn’t have to make you feel guilty. Far from the idea of ”filing down the rough edges”, for many people the only way to heal is walk away from toxic relationship.
Do not blame yourself. It is not selfish to put your sanity first.
Stop minimizing and denying the damage that person causes you and accept that it is abuse. Give up the idea that it will change and that you must endure such abuse because the reality is that toxic people rarely change their abusive behaviors.
Apply zero contact with a family member.
Zero contact consists of setting a time to suppress any form of contact with the person in question. Although it is mainly associated with relationships, it also works with family and even friends.
For some this It could be a very blunt solution but when too much has been endured or an effort has been made to improve and nothing changes, it is very valid (and necessary) to choose to get out of there.
It is not only about eliminating physical contact, that is, it is not just avoiding having an encounter with the person in a meeting. You should also avoid talking to him either by phone, message or social networks. Many times this involves cutting off people related to it.
Take time to absorb your emotions and ask for help if necessary.
No one has to make you feel bad about what you are or what you do with your life. No one has to judge you in order to take control of you. Do not give them the power to make you less or to submit to what they want.
Surround yourself with people who contribute to your peace of mind. If you feel that the situation is overwhelming you, do not hesitate to contact a specialist to guide you through the healing process.
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When your family affects your relationship and your life
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